All I wanted to do was sleep in and shake off this cold once and for all. Is that too much to ask?
Mom: “Hey. I’m going to wake you up and let you know I’m going with your dad to some event to let you sleep all day.”
Neighbors: “lulz” starts using loud machinery and hammering wall
Me: tosses and turns trying to go back to sleep
Doorbell: DING DONG!!!
New Dog: “That’s my cue to make as much noise as possible!!!”
Me: goes downstairs to answer door
New Dog: “HEY! PEOPLE AT DOOR! I’M YELLING AT YOU! LISTEN TO ME!”
Me: “Shut up, dog!” shoves dog into den
Door-to-Door Religion Salespeople: “How are you doing today?”
Me: “Sick.”
Religion Salespeople: “Oh. Can we leave you this pamphlet?”
Me: “No. I’m going to sleep.” closes door immediately
Neighbors: “lulz… wut?” continues to use loud machinery
Me: “Fine… I guess I’ll get up and take a shower.”
Me: finishes shower and opens door to room
New Dog: “HI!”
Me: “um… how and when did you get in here? And why are my shoes wet?”
New Dog: “BYE!”
Neighbors: “HI!!” continues using loud machinery and hammering things